Monday, 26 October 2015

26.10.2015

So... it's 26th Oct again. How time flies. *Checking on what i wrote last year, no entri. hahaha*

Okay, so i write this thing on my fb today.


well, it just an annual thing that i did every year. But, what i did not expect is the amount of comments that i received. I am not very good with words and it a bit awkward for me. I don't really know how to act when people say nice word to me. hahaha. This is a true story. But i really thankful for them, because it is a nice thing to know that i am not the only one who miss my mom.

I also notice that it still hard for me to say tell people that my mom is no longer here with me. I think that is the reason why there are a lot of comment on my status today. When a friend of mine ask, 'since?' *referring to my status* It took me quite sometime to answer her. But i did answered her. It is true then, when people said losing someone you love made a hole to your heart. No matter how long it was, the hole will always be there.

 I, myself just recently (6 or 7 years) can talk about my mom without crying. (but still there's a lump in my throat when i talked about her). I can't even say 'mak' dulu, i felt like crying. If people unintentionally talked about my mum, i will cry too.*behind others back of course* But now, i think i am getting better. Not because of the time passed, but because Achik Ina. kekeke^^ When i started to know with her, she had her mom by her side and she's very close to her. And at that time she's a very clueless and kept on asking about my mom. She used to ask, what is my mom like, what my mom loves to do, and other questions that i answered with a big, gigantic lump in my throat. She also told me, "dont worry dear, you can call my mom Ma as well". At that time i could not bring myself to call her mom that, so i avoid to call her at all. hahahaha. It's a good thing that i sempat to call her Ma.

But thanks to her, now i can tell people about my mom. My siblings often told each other what we remember about our mom and share funny story about her. I think it is a good way to make sure that she'll always be remembered.

We love and miss you Mom.

Love,
onnjaejun